Werewolf Dreams COMPLETE
by FullMoonDreams
Summary: Sirius Black had fallen through The Veil. No longer alive, but not entirely dead, the only one who could still see and hear him was the werewolf Remus Lupin turned into each full moon. Slash RLSB
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise.

Warnings: Slash – Remus/Sirius.

A/N: This story is not going to be very long, probably just no more than half a dozen parts. I haven't forgotten any of my other stories, just this one is bugging me so much I have to write it or go insane…and we wouldn't want that.

Werewolf Dreams

When Sirius Black fell through the veil he would have liked to think he fell gracefully, or even dramatically. Unfortunately, the fall was neither of these; he simply fell.

He picked himself up on the other side of the archway and grinned at his laughing cousin. Did she think she could defeat him quite so easily? Bellatrix Lestrange was cackling away as though it was the funniest thing on Earth. Sirius supposed it might have been funny, but it wasn't _that_ funny.

With his attention fixed on Bellatrix, it was a few moments before he realised that someone was calling his name, screaming it in fact.

"It's all right, Harry," Sirius called, stepping around the archway. He frowned for a moment when he realised that Harry wasn't calming down, but was in fact screaming for him even louder than before.

The Death Eaters were still sending spell after spell towards the members of the Order and Sirius did the only thing he could in the situation, he turned his wand to the nearest and fired off a stunning spell. He realised almost at once that something wasn't right; the spell merely passed through Bellatrix, almost as though she wasn't even there.

He tried a second time, but the effect was exactly the same.

The battle was soon over and Sirius stood, feeling somewhat cheated, and cast dirty looks at his treacherous wand.

"Moony?" he called, turning to where his friend had been standing with Harry. Remus was nowhere in sight and as he looked around the room he could see that the rest of the Order had also moved on.

"They're gone," an unfamiliar voice commented from behind him.

Sirius spun round, his reflexes fast and sure, and he trained his wand on the witch who was calmly watching him. "What happened?" he hissed.

"You came through The Veil," the witch replied, pointing needlessly to the archway, and the curtain that covered it.

"I know _that_," Sirius snapped. "Why didn't my spells work? Why couldn't they hear me?"

"You're dead," an elderly wizard explained as he stepped forward from the small crowd. "You're no longer a part of their world."

Sirius felt his blood run cold and he looked down at his hands, they appeared as solid as they always did. "And the rest of you?" He gestured with his wand and waited for the answer he wasn't sure he wanted to hear.

"We're like you," the witch replied. "We stay here to communicate with the Unspeakables."

"Communicate?" Sirius asked. "You can make yourself heard?"

"Only when speaking through The Veil," the witch explained. "As soon as you stepped away from the archway, they could no longer hear you."

Sirius frowned. What was he supposed to do now? Hang around here, waiting to talk to some stuffy wizard from the Ministry?

"You don't have to stay here," the wizard explained, causing Sirius to wonder if he'd spoken his thoughts aloud. "But, if you leave you'll find that no one will be able to see or hear you. After a while you'll come back here…everyone does eventually."

Sirius didn't believe that anything could persuade him to come back to this place, but he nodded politely anyway.

A moment later he was sprinting towards the door, hurrying to catch up with Harry, Remus and the rest of the Order.

He wasn't dead. He couldn't be. People didn't die from just falling through some old archway. Remus would know what to do. He just had to find a way to get a message to him. Surely it couldn't be that hard?


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The problem with living in a muggle block of flats was that there were far too many muggles wandering the halls when the only resident wizard needed them to be empty. His wand was in easy reach, but with two of his neighbours gossiping just eight feet down the hall, Remus Lupin had nothing else he could do but try to find the set of keys the landlord had given him.

He heaved his shopping from one arm to the other as he struggled to find the keys to his flat amidst the assortment of miscellaneous rubbish in his pockets. A couple of apples tumbled to the floor and he swore under his breath. Finally he felt the cold metal of his keys and let himself into the flat.

He dumped his groceries on the counter and returned to the hall to retrieve the runaway apples. He didn't even know why he'd bought the damn things. He didn't even particularly like green apples, much preferring the red. Sirius was the one who'd liked the green.

He realised, as he was unpacking his shopping that he'd also bought far too much. Having spent so much time living at Grimmauld Place, Remus had got into the habit of doing the shopping for the household, making sure that there was plenty of food in for unexpected visitors. Not to mention keeping Sirius well fed, since the man could eat like a horse.

Remus finished putting away the shopping and reasoned that at least most of the stuff would keep for a while. He grabbed one of the apples and sat down at the table to munch on it as he flicked through his post.

A couple of bills, his copy of the Daily Prophet and a few circulars. There was nothing there to hold his attention for long. He tossed the bills to one side, it's not like he had the money to pay them right away anyway, and wandered over to the sofa.

He settled back and closed his eyes, and within a minute was fast asleep.

He would have probably slept right through until the morning, and regretted it if he had, were it not for the sound of a familiar voice ringing through his flat.

He opened his eyes and stared blearily at the silvery patronus in the form of a phoenix. Dumbledore's voice was calmly requesting that he floo to his office at Hogwarts at 8pm sharp. Remus glanced at the clock, it was already five to eight and his flat, located high in the tower block, didn't even have a fireplace. He'd just have to apparate to the nearest public floo and hope there wasn't a queue. Dumbledore's office was rarely open for someone to access by floo, and he didn't know how long it would be open this evening. He'd just have to keep his fingers crossed that he managed to get there in time.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius was bored. As someone known for being generally loud and a vibrant presence in any room, he was finding his current predicament to be somewhat frustrating.

What was the point of being loud if no one could hear you?

What was the point of anything if you had as much substance as the morning mist?

Grimmauld Place had been his first point of call. He'd been there all of ten minutes before he'd decided that he was a fool to have even gone back there. He'd hated the place while he was growing up there, and even the rowdy Weasleys hadn't managed to make it completely tolerable after his release from Azkaban.

Worse still, Remus hadn't returned and only now did he realise that he had no idea where his friend was living.

He'd made his way north to Hogwarts, hoping to see how Harry was doing. That had been nearly as big a mistake as returning to Grimmauld Place. Watching Harry hadn't been the best idea, and had only brought home to him how much he was missed.

He'd lurked in Dumbledore's office for a while and had watched as he had sent his patronus to summon Remus. Finally, his luck seemed to be changing.

Sirius had never been known for his patience, and he was desperate to see Remus again. Even if he couldn't see or hear him, Remus was his oldest friend and surely wouldn't begrudge him hanging around. But, if luck was on his side, perhaps Remus would be able to see him, and even help him find a way out of this mess.

Remus arrived in Dumbledore's office a few minutes after eight. He looked dishevelled and tired. Sirius frowned as he looked the other man over. He looked like he'd lost weight, and Sirius wondered if he'd been taking care of himself properly.

"Remus," Dumbledore greeted him with a force smile. "Thank you for coming at such short notice."

"I'm sorry I'm late," Remus offered. "I'm not on the floo network and there was a queue at the nearest public one."

"That's quite all right." Dumbledore waved his hand dismissing his concerns. "I'd have asked you to apparate but I imagine you're still recovering at the moment. Although the floo network is still being watched, the Ministry is well aware that I am interviewing for the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher yet again. Since you have previous experience and left your post here of your own accord…well, if anyone asks I'm sure you'll know what to say."

Remus nodded whilst Sirius looked out the window at the newly risen moon. He hadn't even realised that the full moon had passed. He wondered how Remus had coped without Padfoot, and whether he'd managed to obtain any Wolfsbane potion this month.

Sirius's mind wandered as he listened to Dumbledore as he made idle conversation with Remus. "If you have something for Moony to do, why don't you get to the point and tell him?"Sirius muttered to himself, wondering even as he spoke why he was whispering when no one in the room could hear him at all.

"There have been reports of werewolf activity in Derbyshire," Dumbledore finally commented. "You may have read about it in the Daily Prophet?"

Remus nodded, confirming that he had.

"I know this is a bad time," said Dumbledore sadly. "The loss of Sirius must have hit you nearly as hard as it did Harry?"

Sirius jumped slightly, startled to hear his own name being spoken.

"I'm doing all right," Remus replied quietly. "I'm trying to keep busy, take my mind off things, you know…?"

Dumbledore nodded. "You never told him, did you?"

Sirius frowned and looked at Remus. Told him what?

"The time was never right," Remus replied. "I always thought there'd be another chance."

"I was wrong," Dumbledore commented quietly. "It's hit you even harder than Harry."

"You have a mission for me?" Remus asked, blatant in his effort to change the subject. Sirius frowned, curious to know what it was that Remus hadn't told him. Unfortunately, without a voice there was no way to get the conversation back on the track that he wanted.

Remus stayed with Dumbledore for another half an hour, Dumbledore assuring him that the other interviewees had taken much longer to be interrogated.

"I'll head to Derbyshire first thing in the morning," Remus assured him as he left, with, although he didn't know it, Sirius close at his heels.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus let himself back into his flat and made his way to the bedroom.

Sirius looked around the flat with open curiosity. He soon spotted the unpaid bills and wondered why Remus hadn't settled them immediately. He was normally so thorough about things like that; he hoped it wasn't money worries.

There were dirty pots stacked in the sink, most of which looked to have been there for several days. He suspected Remus wasn't eating properly, if the state of the kitchen was anything to go by.

The fruit bowl on the beaten up coffee table was full, and Sirius reached out automatically for one of his favourite apples, swearing in frustration when his hand passed through the fruit. It was only later that he remembered that Remus didn't even like green apples.

"Were you expecting me?" he asked, even though Remus wasn't even in the room, and couldn't hear him even if he were.

Even though he knew it was probably only habit that had caused Remus to buy the apples, Sirius couldn't help but hope that maybe, on some instinctive level, Remus knew he was there.

After he'd exhausted his exploration of the poky kitchen and sparsely furnished living room, Sirius wandered towards to the bedroom. He raised his hand to knock on the door, remembering too late that his fist would simply pass through the wood. He stumbled into the room, his tumble even less graceful than his fall through the archway back in the Department of Mysteries.

"Well, that was smooth," he muttered as he picked himself up. "You'd think, being like this, it wouldn't hurt as much."

He mumbled crossly to himself as he looked around the room. It was as shabby and empty of personal effects as the living room had been. A couple of dog-eared paperbacks were on the bedside table, his wand and pocket watch beside them. A rickety chest of drawers was the only other furniture in the room.

Sirius looked at Remus and was surprised to see that he was still wide-awake.

"Can't sleep?" he asked conversationally.

Remus's inadvertent reply was barely more than a whisper. "What am I going to do without you, Sirius?"

"Can you hear me?" Sirius asked excitedly. He hurried to the side of the bed, hope blossoming in his heart. "Remus?"

Remus didn't reply, and the tiny bloom of hope withered and died.

"It's not fair," Remus complained to the world in general.

"You're telling me," Sirius replied with a snort.

"I always thought I'd have more time, another chance."

"Chance for what?"

"Each time I let one slip by, I told myself they'd be another."

Sirius listened silently after that. It was less disconcerting for him to listen to Remus talking to no one, than to be repeatedly ignored. Unfortunately, Sirius's curiosity was not going to be sated any time soon, and Remus wasn't revealing anything more than what he'd already said.

Eventually Remus slept, leaving Sirius to linger, bored and dissatisfied, in the silent flat.

-o-xXx-o-

By the time the sun came up Sirius was feeling much less despondent about his situation. He'd always been curious about Remus's missions, now he was being given the unique opportunity to see for himself what his friend did for the Order.

His exuberance lasted until well after they'd arrived in the small bed and breakfast where Dumbledore had reserved Remus a room. It was helped along by the delusion that he was just on holiday with Remus, relaxing a little during the summer.

The only thing marring his enjoyment was the fact that he was still no nearer to finding a way of rejoining the rest of the world.

"So, Remus," he called out over the sound of the shower. "Got any theories about the function of the archway?" As usual, there was no answer. But Sirius was nothing if not persistent, and he told himself that if he just repeated the question often enough, Remus would eventually hear him and be able to help.

-o-xXx-o-

Keeping busy was the key. That was what Remus had been telling himself over and over since the day Sirius had fallen through the veil. As an unemployed werewolf, that was easier said than done. Thankfully the mission for Order couldn't have come at a better time. He needed a distraction, and this was ideal.

If only he could do what he usually did on such missions, and shut out the thoughts and memories of those he'd left behind.

But putting Sirius from his mind wasn't easy, he was more on his mind now than he'd been when he was alive.

If Remus had been given to flights of fancy, which he wasn't, he'd have wondered if maybe Sirius was still with him, at least in spirit…and whether that was why he was finding it so hard to stop thinking about him.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sirius hadn't believed Remus when the other man had told him that his missions for the Order weren't that exciting or interesting. He had convinced himself that Remus had only said these things to try to make Sirius feel better about being cooped up in Grimmauld Place. After three weeks of shadowing Remus whilst he worked undercover, Sirius not only believed Remus, but had also reached the conclusion that Remus had overstated his missions somewhat.

He was now sitting in a shady looking pub, not even able to have a drink, whilst Remus talked about the recent changes in Ministry policy with two other werewolves.

Sirius wasn't tired, he'd soon found that he no longer needed sleep, but he couldn't stop himself from the habit of yawning with boredom. "Are you done here yet?" he asked, no longer even hoping for an answer.

"Another round?" Remus asked his companions.

"Apparently not," Sirius muttered in answer to his own question. "And you can't afford to keep buying the drinks. No wonder you aren't eating properly."

"We should be heading home," replied the older of the two men Remus was talking with.

Remus looked disappointed but the smile remained on his face, and Sirius knew that he was the only one who could tell it was faked.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius followed Remus back to the bed and breakfast, and listened to him as he chattered away to no one, or more accurately to him. He knew well enough by now that Remus had no idea that he had company, but it hadn't stopped his friend from talking away as though Sirius were still in the room with him.

More than anything, Sirius wanted to speak to him and be heard. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say, though as he watched Remus pick dejectedly at his supper, he suspected a lecture on taking care of himself was top of his list.

"Full moon soon," Sirius commented to himself. "Got somewhere safe to spend it?"

Remus didn't answer, but turned to look out of the window at the waxing moon.

"Do you have any idea how creepy it is when you do that?" Sirius asked, his chin resting on his hand as he slouched across the bed, hovering several inches above the mattress. "It's like you can hear me, but you're ignoring me. You know how much I hate being ignored."

Remus stood up and picked up his half-eaten sandwich, tossing the same into the garbage. Sirius scowled at the bin, then at his friend. "I should go and find someone else to help me, shouldn't I?" he whispered. "You can't see or hear me, and being here like this with you is torture. Got any ideas on where I should go? Dumbledore couldn't see or hear me, and they don't come more powerful than him. The Ministry doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs either. Maybe after the full moon, after I've checked you're all right, I should move on?"

Remus sat back down on the bed and sighed loudly. "I've really got to move on, haven't I?" he asked the empty room. "It's no use moping around like this. If you could see me now, you'd think me the biggest sort of fool."

"Never, Moony," Sirius whispered.

"I'm such a coward," Remus continued. "Too scared to tell you anything I thought you wouldn't want to hear."

"Is this about Snivellus?" Sirius asked. "For Salazar's sake, forget about it! So what if you didn't tell us off for teaching the little git a lesson? You told us all the important stuff, and that's all that matters."

"…just three little words, and I couldn't bring myself to say them. Now, I'll never get the chance."

"Three little words?" Sirius whispered. It couldn't be, could it? Now he thought about it, when was the last time Remus had been in a relationship with a woman…with anyone? He's always assumed that there had been some nice girl for Moony whilst he had been languishing in Azkaban. He'd been mildly surprised that his friend, certainly the nicest of the marauders, had not settled down and married. Remus had brushed off his questions on the topic with the single word…werewolf. Now, he wondered if there might be another reason for Remus's perpetually single status.

Sirius frowned to himself as he pondered his friend's words. Unbidden, a memory, long forgotten, flitted across his mind.

"_Remus? You in here?" Sirius had called, as quietly as he could within the confines of the library of Hogwarts. He knew that Remus was panicking about the upcoming NEWTs the following month, but he had to take some time off sooner or later. And if he didn't, Sirius would see to it that he did._

_He had walked down the aisles of books, looking left and right and left again to see where his friend was camped out. _

_He had finally spotted him sitting with one of the Ravenclaw Chasers, both seemingly engrossed in their books. _

_Moony had appeared flushed, and more than a little rumpled around the edges. "You need to take some time off, mate," Sirius had told him, pulling the book from his friend's hands and tucking it into his bag. _

_Remus hadn't argued, although the Ravenclaw had snickered slightly into his own book. Sirius had ignored him and tugged Remus along for a tension-relieving prank._

He didn't know why that memory had chosen to pop into his head at this precise moment. It was one of many times that he'd braved the library to track down one or another of his friends. It wasn't even the only time that he'd tracked down Remus whilst he wasn't alone. But something about that memory now made perfect sense to him.

The way Remus had flushed, the snickering of the Ravenclaw, the slightly askew ties of the two boys, the brief backward glance Remus had given the other boy, it all suddenly made sense.

"Oh, Remus," Sirius sighed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Even if you'd hated me, it would've been better than this," Remus said. "This…not knowing…wondering…"

"I could never hate you," Sirius told him, his voice rising slightly with conviction. "Never, Moony. You have to believe that. How can you ever think otherwise?"

"There were so many times when I had the chance to tell you how I felt. So many times I could have told you I…"

Sirius looked on helplessly as Remus's voice cracked. He reached out his hand towards the single tear that had leaked from Remus's right eye. It fell, unhindered down the other man's face, through Sirius's finger, before dripping onto Remus's shirt.

"You didn't have to tell me, Moony," he said. "I think, perhaps, I already knew. Deep down I think I knew all along, just like I knew all along how I felt about you. Why else would I come to you for help, knowing that I could at least speak with the Unspeakables at the Ministry? I just wanted any excuse to see you again. I'm sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. I never even told you enough for you to realise that I could never, ever, hate you."

Sirius finished his speech and watched as Remus forcibly pulled himself together and turned back the covers of the bed. Remus didn't sleep for a long while, but Sirius never moved from his side. He knew he couldn't stay with him forever, he'd already made up his mind to leave after the full moon. But, selfish though it may be, he didn't want to leave his side for so much as a minute.

-o-xXx-o-

Although Sirius had wondered briefly whether Remus had made arrangements for the night of the full moon, he didn't expect him to be joining the local werewolves. Somehow, he'd always thought that Remus would find an abandoned building, a secure basement or some other such place to wait for the full moon to pass.

He didn't expect Remus to walk to the local woods, dangerously close to the populated area, and meet up with four of the werewolves he'd been meeting in the last few weeks.

"Moony, what are you doing?" he asked, more than a little frustrated, and fearful for not only the safety of the locals, but the safety of his friend.

"You came?" the eldest of the men in the woods said. He sounded as surprised as Sirius was.

"You invited me," Remus replied with a shrug. "It's not like I had a hot date tonight anyway."

Sirius smiled at Remus's weak joke, and breathed a sigh of relief that it had eased some of the tension between the party.

"It's soon," the youngest member of the party said, fear evident in his voice. "I can feel it."

"Me too," Remus agreed.

Sirius looked up through the trees; the sky had clouded over and he couldn't see a single star. He knew the moon would be similarly hidden when it rose, but he also knew that the werewolves could sense the rise of the moon without needing to see it. He'd once asked Remus how he could tell when the moon was rising, but Remus hadn't been able to explain it, merely saying that he just could.

"Do you have somewhere to keep these safe?" Remus asked, gesturing to his clothes.

"Sure," the oldest werewolf replied, pointing to an innocuous wooden trunk. If anyone stumbled across it during the night, they'd assume it was merely junk. It was as secure a place as any.

Sirius watched as Remus shrugged out of his jacket, then his shirt. For a brief moment he wondered at the lack of shyness in his friend. Then he remembered that the reason for his modesty had always been his self-inflicted scars, and the werewolves he was with no doubt had their own injuries.

All too soon, the moon was rising and the sounds of the men, and one solitary woman, screaming as their bodies spiralled out of their control, echoed through the woods.

Sirius cringed slightly, his heart breaking a little as Remus's cries drowned out the others. Realistically, Sirius knew that Remus was no louder than the rest, he was probably quieter than most of them, but he was all that Sirius could hear.

Finally, the screams stopped, to be replaced by howls.

Sirius looked at the wolves, clustered together…apart from one. Remus stood apart from the rest, proud and alone.

Sirius sensed trouble immediately. It was in the air, in the growls of the wolves, the flash of their teeth. "No, Remus," he whispered. "Don't do this."

Moony crouched low on the ground, not breaking eye contact with the leader of the pack. The rest of the pack backed off, leaving the largest of the wolves, so much larger than Moony, to face the newcomer.

For countless moments they circled each other, testing each other in a purely animalistic manner.

Sirius stayed back, on the edge of the circle, watching the proceedings with fear. Remus was weak, too thin, and far from well. His opponent was fit and healthy and Sirius knew that Remus had more than met his match.

Suddenly the larger wolf sprang forward, knocking Moony across the clearing. Sirius drew in a sharp breath, Moony's pitiful whine of pain tearing at his heart.

Then Moony was giving as good as he got, biting and snarling at the larger wolf, as they tussled in the long grass.

Sirius cringed as the larger wolf bit into Moony's side and pushed him up against a rock. Moony howled in pain, and Sirius could tell that somewhere in the cry he was giving in, admitting defeat, and letting the other wolf know that he was submitting to its power.

The larger wolf pulled back and turned towards the rest of the pack. In the blink of an eye they were gone, leaving Sirius alone with the beaten and bloody Moony.

"You put up a good show," he said as he crouched down on the ground to survey the damage. Moony whined in answer and Sirius shook his head in disappointment. "But you're not as young as you used to be. You should have found a nice basement to spend the night in."

He leaned closer to examine the wound, only to jump back in surprise at the sharp teeth that suddenly snapped at his face.

"There's no need for that, I'm only trying to help," Sirius scolded. The wolf growled back at him again, but it was still another full minute before Sirius realised what was happening.

"You can see me?" he asked quietly, waving his hand in front of the wolf's face, elation bubbling up inside him as he watched the wolf follow his movements. Eventually though, the wolf seemed to become bored with this and closed his eyes.

"Rough night, huh?" Sirius asked as he settled down for the night. "You get your strength back, mate. We've got a lot to talk about in the morning."

* * *

A/N: One more chapter to go on this one I think. I know I was estimating six, but I removed a sub plot that seemed to be hindering the plot rather than adding to it, and so this will be a bit shorter than I initially thought.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Remus opened his eyes slowly. He felt like he'd been hit by a truck…a truck that had then reversed back over him a time or two.

He wondered if it was worth trying to get up yet, or whether it would be better to simply lay there a while and try to get some sleep. Unfortunately, the ground was hard, there was a rock digging in his back and it was starting to rain.

He sat up and looked around the clearing. The battered box containing his clothes was about twenty feet from him, and he breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't wandered too far through the unfamiliar woods during the night.

Remus gingerly made his way across the clearing, gently flexing his wrist and cringing at the pain. It was no doubt broken again; he wondered if he could persuade one of the healers at St Mungo's to give him a discount on the usual fees, due to the frequency of his visits. "Fat chance," he muttered to himself, shaking his head at the ridiculous idea.

He struggled into his clothes and quickly apparated back to his room at the bed and breakfast. He didn't bother to change out of his clothes, merely collapsing on the bed with a groan.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius watched Remus as he slept. A small smile played across his lips as he listened to the other man mumble in his sleep.

That Remus talked in his sleep had been a source of amusement for the other Gryffindors for several years. During the first year at school, they had failed to realise that Remus was most vocal in his sleep for the day or two that followed right after the full moon. After they'd found out his secret in second year, it had only taken them a couple of months to realise this. By third year, Remus had had enough of their teasing and had mastered silencing charms so that they couldn't remind him of the nonsense he came out with during his sleepy chatter.

Sirius listened with amusement as Remus muttered in his sleep now. Since Remus believed himself to be on his own, he'd seen no reason to bother with the silencing charm tonight. Sirius smiled to himself as he reminisced about happier times. It wasn't until he heard Remus call out his own name that he realised what it was that Remus talked about in his sleep.

"You remember?" he asked in surprise. "Your remember last night?"

He thought back to their years at school and realised that Remus must have always, on some level at least, recalled something the events of the night of the full moon.

He'd always claimed to have no real recollections of his time as the wolf, only impressions, feelings and overwhelming pain. Sirius couldn't believe that they had never realised what it was that Remus talked about in his sleep.

"You came back," Remus muttered. "Sirius…don't leave me again…"

"I'm not going anywhere," Sirius replied. "No chance. You're never getting rid of me."

Eventually, Remus quietened, and only his soft snores disturbed the silence of the room.

Sirius watched eagerly as Remus opened his eyes and stretched. He felt Remus's pain as he inadvertently knocked his injured wrist. "You need to get that fixed," he advised him firmly.

Remus didn't reply, instead Sirius was disappointed to realise that he once again he was invisible and unheard.

"Remus," he pleaded quietly. "You saw me last night, you heard me, don't you remember?"

Remus passed right through him and Sirius let out a cry of frustration.

"Remus!" he screamed. But, no matter how loud he called Remus didn't give any indication that he had heard him.

-o-xXx-o-

Any plans that Sirius had entertained for leaving Remus after the full moon had vanished the moment he had realised that Remus, as Moony could see him. Knowing that Remus, at least subconsciously, remembered his time as the werewolf only reinforced his determination to make himself heard.

The next four weeks were not nearly as frustrating as the previous ones. Knowing that Remus would be able to see and hear him as Moony kept him from becoming too despondent the rest of the time. Sirius kept himself busy by chatting to Remus, pestering him to take care of himself, and criticising him for continuing with the mission, despite the events on the night of the full moon.

When the next full moon arrived, Sirius was surprised, and highly annoyed, to see that Remus was intending to join the other local werewolves again. "Going back to give them another shot at you?" he asked with frustration. "Want to get your other wrist broken as well?"

Of course, his complaints and grumbles went unheard and Sirius soon found himself back in the woods, this time in the pouring rain, waiting for the moonrise.

Remus approached the rest of the werewolves and chatted amiably to them as they waited for the sun to set. He was certainly handling things better than Sirius was. Sirius was itching to start throwing a few well-aimed curses at the leader of the local werewolves, but Remus was acting as though nothing untoward had happened the previous month.

Sirius watched as the werewolves transformed, trying once again to shut out the sounds of Remus's pain. He wanted to close his eyes, to avoid seeing what he was sure to be another fight, with Remus in even worse shape than he'd been the previous month. But, instead of turning away, he watched quietly, bracing himself for the first blow.

It was with relief that Sirius realised that this month there wasn't going to be a fight. It seemed that the last month had been more than enough for the two of them and Remus was accepted into the small community without a struggle.

"Guess last month was some of that dominance rubbish," he commented to no one in particular.

It took all of three seconds for him to realise that Moony was not the only one who could see and hear him now that the moon had risen. The other werewolves turned to him, and even in their animal forms he could see the hostility and suspicion in their faces. Even knowing that they couldn't touch him, he couldn't stop himself taking a step back out of their reach.

He was almost certain that the leader was about to pounce at him, or at least through him, when Moony stepped in between them.

"It's me, Moony," Sirius said, in as calm a voice as he could manage. "It's Padfoot, remember?" He knelt down beside his friend and wished he still had the power to transform into Padfoot for real. Unfortunately, for some reason he didn't know his power to transform had left him when he'd fallen through the Veil. Moving on instinct he stretched his neck towards Moony's powerful jaws, hoping that the other werewolves got the message he was trying to convey. He wasn't a threat to them…he was Moony's.

He was thankful he didn't have a human body any more, and that he was actually in no danger from the werewolves. With no body, there was no human scent for them to track, no blood for them to crave. He waited for long minutes, wondering if Moony would attempt to break his neck, or whether he could tell, on some level, that he was Padfoot.

Finally, Moony seemed to decide that Sirius wasn't a threat, or food, and he growled at the other werewolves. The sound conveyed the message as clearly as if Remus was speaking out loud. _Mine._

Sirius let out a breath, more from habit than necessity, and rose from his submissive position on the ground. "You remember me?" he asked.

Moony sniffed at him curiously, seemingly trying to figure out why he couldn't find a scent on the obviously human shaped man before him.

The other werewolves had wandered off again by the time Sirius turned back to see what they were doing. He was alone with Moony once more, only this time the werewolf was conscious, and seemed to want to play.

Sirius laughed as Moony pounced right through him. "Guess you're getting slow in your old age, huh?" he teased as the werewolf tried again to make contact with him.

Sirius let Moony chase him about for nearly an hour, until finally he realised that he was wasting time and he needed to try to get his message through to Remus.

"Moony?" he asked the panting werewolf. "I need you to remember something for Remus, okay?"

The werewolf looked back at him, but gave no indication that he had understood what Sirius was saying.

"I need you to remember the Veil, to go back to the Veil, can you remember that for Remus?"

Moony looked back at him for another minute, before pouncing playfully towards him once more.

-o-xXx-o-

Three full moons later and Sirius was becoming more and more frustrated. Each full moon he trailed after Moony and told him, over and over again, to go back to the Veil. And each month he listened as Remus muttered in his sleep about anything and everything from his time as Moony…except the one thing that Sirius needed him to remember.

"One little thing, that's all you need to remember?" Sirius cried out as he paced the bedroom.

"Water…so cold…" Remus muttered, recalling an unexpected dip in a stream after an unsuccessful attempt to pounce at Sirius.

"The Veil, Remus. I need you to remember the Veil."

"Sirius?" Remus whispered.

"Yes, Remus," Sirius replied, calmer, as he always was whenever he heard Remus calling for him. "I'm here, Remus. And I need you, more than I ever did. Please, Remus."

"Need you," Remus replied, though Sirius couldn't tell if he was responding to his own words, or merely giving voice to his own desires.

"Need you too," Sirius said, choosing to believe the former, and clinging to the tiny shred of hope that it gave him. "Need you to remember."

"Remember…" Remus rasped.

"Yes!" Sirius cried. "Remember, Remus. Please remember. The Veil. You have to go back there. You have to…"

Then Remus shifted on the bed and fell into a deeper sleep, no longer talking, and no longer hearing Sirius's gentle pleas.

-o-xXx-o-

Sirius never knew what it was that had triggered Remus's memory. He only knew that one morning, a week after the full moon, Remus had packed up his things and apparated to London.

He'd followed after Remus as he'd entered the Ministry of Magic, growing more excited by the minute.

He wasn't surprised to see that Remus wasn't heading to the Department of Mysteries, although he couldn't quite quell the disappointment.

That same disappointment vanished when he realised that Remus was simply obtaining permission to enter the Department. He was practically grinning when permission was granted, albeit for only a limited amount of time.

"You're still as devious as you ever were," Sirius commented, as he listened to Remus explain that he'd lost something vitally important during the battle near the Veil and this was the only place he hadn't looked.

"I'm sure it isn't down here," the wizard replied with a frown, leading Remus towards the elevator.

"I've looked everywhere else," Remus explained. "I'll just have a quick look around the archway, if that's all right with you?"

"Not got much choice, not when you've gone over my head to wrangle your way down here," the wizard complained.

"I won't be long," Remus promised.

The wizard nodded abruptly, leaving Remus and Sirius alone in the cavernous room.

"Told you you'd be back," a familiar voice gloated, and Sirius turned to see the form of a solitary wizard. The same one he'd spoken to all those months ago when he'd first fallen through the Veil.

"Not for long," Sirius crowed. "My friend's here, and he's going to get me back on the other side in no time at all."

"You can't go back." The wizard laughed bitterly. "You're dead, haven't you figured that out yet?"

"A person can't die from just falling through some crumbling old archway."

"I assure you they can."

Sirius ignored him and moved closer to the archway in question. Remus had moved on ahead of him, oblivious to the presence of others in the room.

"Remus, can you hear me?" Sirius asked, standing beside him as he looked at the Veil.

"You need to be round the other side," the wizard called, before drifting off through one of the walls.

Sirius scowled, but saw no harm in stepping to the opposite side of the archway. The Veil was even more ragged than the last time they'd been there. Parts of it were worn through entirely and it was fluttering in a breeze that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. "Remus?" he tried again, his voice no more than a hesitant whisper.

"Sirius?" Remus replied, stepping closer to the Veil.

"I'm here," Sirius said, louder this time, his voice catching slightly on the words.

Remus frowned slightly, stepping forward again. He was now standing so close to the archway that another step would take him through it.

"I've missed you, Moony," Sirius said. "Can't tell you how much I've wanted to be with you properly all this time."

"I can barely hear you," Remus said, leaning forward, as though trying to make out sounds that were coming from a great distance, or lost amidst a lot of louder noise.

"I'm right here," Sirius said, stepping closer himself. "I need your help to pull me back through."

"Back?" Remus echoed, wonder written on his face as he heard what Sirius was asking of him.

Sirius swept the Veil aside as he pushed his hand forward into the archway, struggling more and more with each inch that he moved. It was like trying to swim against the current, and the more he tried to push forward, the further back he seemed to be going. "Don't come too close," he warned Remus, even as the other man raised his hand into the archway from the other side. Then Remus's fingers were brushing against his own, an anchor in the rapidly running stream. He clung to those fingers as though they were the only things keeping him from drifting off into nothingness.

"I've missed you, Padfoot," Remus said, smiling shyly as their fingers entwined.

"I know," Sirius replied. He ran his thumb over Remus's wrist and smiled back. "I've been with you, you know? Watching over you, trying to guide you back here."

"How long?" Remus asked with a worried frown.

"Long enough," Sirius laughed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Remus evaded.

"You know what," Sirius teased. "You wanted another chance, didn't you? Another chance to tell me how you feel?"

"You were really with me all this time?" Remus asked.

"Always."

"I…" Remus began.

"I know," Sirius cut him off. "I love you, too."

"You do?"

"Always, Remus. Always."

They stood looking at each other for long moments, until finally Sirius inched forward so that he was standing directly under the archway. Their hands were still clasped together when he leaned forward to catch Remus's lips with his own.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus wound his arms around Sirius's neck, hugging him close as they kissed. The kiss wasn't exactly how he'd imagined it would be. For one thing, he hadn't envisaged that it would take place after Sirius had fallen through the Veil, seemingly taken from him forever. Nor had he dared to speculate that Sirius would be kissing him back with as much desperation as he was feeling himself.

"Help me, Remus," Sirius begged. "Pull me back through the archway. Don't let me go…please."

"I won't," Remus promised.

He looked up and saw that they were directly under the archway, caught as it were, between two worlds.

"It's so hard for me to step forward," Sirius said, even as he tried to push his way through the archway. "I need you to pull me."

Remus nodded and pulled Sirius close once more. "I've got you, Sirius. Just a little further."

Distantly, he heard a voice saying they couldn't do what they were doing, and he knew it was someone on Sirius's side of the Veil who was speaking.

"We can do this," he said firmly. "We do the impossible, don't we, Padfoot? Sixteen year old animaguses, werewolves attending school, we can do this."

"That's my Moony," Sirius said affectionately, and he ducked his head to kiss Remus again.

Remus kept his lips firmly locked with Sirius's own as he stepped back from the archway, pulling Sirius along with him.

"We do the impossible," Sirius agreed as he looked back at the archway with loathing. The Veil had drifted back down behind him and he shuddered as he looked at it swaying in the mysterious breeze.

"I think we should get out of here," Remus advised with a shudder of his own.

"After you Mr Moony," Sirius said, stepping back and giving an elegant sweeping bow.

Sirius only released his fingers for a moment, but that was more than long enough for the anchor to slip away.

"Sirius!" Remus yelled. He sprang forward to catch the other man as he tumbled to the ground.

"Guess this was too impossible, even for us," Sirius whispered.

"No, Sirius! Padfoot, don't leave me, don't leave me again." Remus held Sirius close as he closed his eyes. "Don't you dare, Padfoot! You can't do this to me, not now…not now."

"I'll never leave you, Moony," Sirius whispered, his voice growing fainter with every word he uttered.

"Sirius, you've got to fight this," Remus demanded. "Don't you give up, fight it."

"Love you, Remus," Sirius whispered. "Always."

Remus sat on the cold stone floor for a long time. He held Sirius in his arms, waiting in vain for the grey eyes to open once more.

-o-xXx-o-

Remus let himself into his flat, once more loaded down with shopping. He glanced fondly at the green apples that he knew Sirius loved. He went to the kitchen counter and prepared himself a proper meal for the first time in months. Sirius would have had no cause for complaint at the food.

Remus washed the pots carefully, making sure that all those that had lingered for so long were thoroughly clean and put away.

Then he went into the bedroom and stretched out on one side of the bed. He knew that Sirius wasn't with him, not like he'd been before, but it made him feel slightly better to know that Sirius would approve of his making room for him in the bed.

Eventually he slept, dreaming of happier times, some real, others only real in the realms of his imagination. In all of his dreams there was only one constant presence. Sometimes he was in the form of a large black dog, more often he was a dark-haired young man with twinkling grey eyes.

In the weary werewolf's dreams, Sirius Black was with him…always.

The End

* * *

A/N: I suppose I better grovel apologies to everyone who wanted a happy ending on this one. In my defence (why do I seem to end up writing that on all my fics these days?) this one is, and always has been, in the angst/tragedy category.

ETA: Spooky coincidence alert - whilst I was writing this fic several months ago, there was someone with far more talent at art than myself working on a project of her own. She originally posted her picture a day before this story was published and it is the most vivid visual representatiion of the final scene at the veil I could imagine. I strongly recommend heading over to see "Life in my Hands" by Melete at DeviantArt. Sorry, this site won't let me link to it in the story. Check out my profile page for (hopefully) a direct link.


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